Coping with death, what a way to get this off to on right foot. This is probably going to be my most morbid post but I’ll tell ya, it felt good to get it all out. The tricky thing with death is that we all know it’s going to happen, but we don’t know when. Then, the major test of life seems to be how we cope with it.
The sad thing about life is that the older we get, the more death we experience. Sometimes, it gets to you and other times, it’s just an event in someone else’s life where you feel bad for them. When it gets to you, it’s a whole different story. The last few years, it’s been death after death, mostly resulting from cancer and NOT from old age. Peers my age are losing the battle and it leaves you reeling because you always think that could’ve been me.
I wrote a piece for our editorial (www.terimiyahira.com) that is deeply personal to me. I always think there’s a fine line between being personable and personal. I do not like to get personal. Letting people in is a great thing if that person treats your life with respect and care. But, sometimes letting people in can be a bad life decision that you don’t see until years later. I guess I wrote this more for me and I hope that somewhere along the way, it can help someone who’s been through it.
This was published in October which arguably is the toughest month of the year for me. Sometimes, I’m able to keep it together and other times, I’m stuck the entire month and it just feels like life is keeping me in the mud. In psychology, we study the stages of grief and textbooks make it seem so linear. You move from one stage then you go to the next. In real life, it’s not like that because you can make one stride forward today and then tomorrow, you are back to square one.
What I’ve learned is that life doesn’t ever stop because you want it to stop. This can feel like no one cares and that no one is sensitive to your feelings. Sure, in some aspects that’s probably very true. But, if we are to think positively about anything, especially about sudden death, it’s that the world keeps going in order to help you keep going.
If you want to see an abbreviated version of how I tried to deal with sudden death, click on that emo picture below and let me know your thoughts. I’d love to hear how you coped with a hard time in your life.