How this became even an option is complete Harry Potter, House of Gryffindor level sorcery. Of course, I’ve been more than excited to write about this since coffee is my patronus. Don’t know what a patronus is? It’s an object that someone feels deep affinity with. Don’t know what affinity means? It means a natural liking. Yes, I’m also your dictionary for the day here. Coffee makes me feel like I can do anything- like be your dictionary and run real fast.
Go Cubes were created by Nootrobox who specialize in nootropics. This is basically the wizardry of helping you function like a better human being cognitively by mixing a bunch of safe stuffs together. A more scientific sounding explanation can be found at their website linked below.
What chewing coffee looks like…
What is it? Chewable coffee is what they are claiming. NO, not like coffee flavored Jelly Belly’s or coffee cake or artificially flavored coffee something. It’s actual coffee, in a cube form.
What is actually in this?
100mg Caffeine, 200mg L-theanine, 250mg Glucuronolactone, 250mg Inositol, 20mg Vitamin B6 (Pyridoxine Hydrochloride), 60mcg Vitamin B12 (Methylcobalamin)
Is it vegan/GF?
Well, I’m not vegan but thought this was a useful tidbit for those who are. YES, they are vegan and GF. Also, cruelty-free by using pectin derived from plants.
What drinking coffee looks like…
If you’ve never had any coffee, you’re probably like 9 years old. At some point in time, you’ve seen coffee. I’m showing you this because look how pretty. Also, Heart Roasters is everything on earth.
To Drink or to Chew, That is the Question. So, what’s my answer?
Look at that cube. It’s cute, it’s small, it’s not messy, and it’s easy to bring with you anywhere. It makes you feel like you drank coffee without the crash (if you do experience crashing after coffee). It makes you feel really hip because it’s the new, cool thing that kind of defies the whole purpose and mess of making coffee.
There is a place for new, hip, innovative things, always. It’s fun, exciting, and people love new stuff. I mean, to be honest, I feel “cool” that I have the Go Cubes in my possession. I even ate a whole bag (contains 4) and felt like I had coffee! Definitely do not drink coffee AND eat a bunch of Go Cubes because you will be awake for about 4 days. The great thing is there’s no crash, at all, so whatever potion they added into this gelatinous cube of coffee is truly magical.
I believe it’s useful, essential even in places where you can’t get coffee and where you need energy. Perfect places would be during a marathon, hike, a trek across the middle of nowhere, or in a place where you question water sanitation. It’s the perfect item for survival and if they started selling at Costco, I’d most likely purchase them for my running for that excellent pick-me-up at mile 6.
That said, coffee in a cube is very 2016 and I’m pretty old fashioned, like 1980. Making coffee is a ritual, a self-care process, and a luxury of life I do not take for granted. Sure it takes time, but what’s 6.5 minutes in a day to treat yourself to something you really love? Opening a bag of beans, measuring out 18 grams, and waiting for the water to brew is all so exciting. I don’t know, maybe this is dumb, but it’s a joyful process. I’m all for instant gratification, but the anticipation of a good cup of coffee has too much overwhelming joy attached to it.
I can’t see how I’d call my BFF and say “Hey, let’s meet up at Heart for coffee” and then whip out some cubes. I don’t know. Something about drinking coffee with friends and family is the pathway for making memories, growing bonds, and laughing. I can picture us sitting there like this:
E: *just chewing on a cube:
*Keep staring at each other
E: Uh, what now?
K: Why do I have to tell you all the answers to everything, like..
E: GEEZ!!! Just asking!!!! WHY are we even friends, seriously? *Rolls eyes until they get stuck.*
Then at 1230 am…
E: I can’t sleep, let’s go run.
K: I hate you.
E: Your fault, those cubes, per usual, therefore, forthwith.
K: Why are you talking like you’re from the 14th century?
E: Your fault, per usual, henceforth.
See? Drinking coffee though we can catch up on random stuff, random people, each other, and I’d tell him all the new things I learned from my most reliable news source, The Daily Mail.
Something about holding coffee in your hands invokes nostalgia of growing up and seeing a mug on your dad’s desk with his newspaper. Something about smelling fresh coffee beans or freshly brewed coffee makes my eyes roll back into my head and I think about the first time I learned what good coffee was like. Something about seeing coffee being brewed, those gentle drops of life’s elixir dripping from the pour over, baristas with their on-fleek hair and neatly trimmed beards- all of that invokes what it means to be a big kid, a big kid living a good life.
Maybe I have a crazy love affair with coffee that is borderline DSM-V level crazy. I am sincerely sorry that I can’t say I would give up the entire coffee drinking experience for coffee cubes. I just can’t. There are not many things that make me happy every.single.time. without fail. Coffee is one of them and I am unable to give that up, even if it means giving up being cool. But, with that said, I seriously appreciate that Go Cubes exist in our world today because I will give up all my Gu and Running Jelly Beans for Go Cubes! Gu makes me want to vomit and those Jelly Belly’s don’t work all that well when I’m hitting a wall at mile 4. Go Cubes though, I believe will take me to the finish line, in a legal manner, faster than I ever imagined and for that moment in time, I am willing to give up drinking coffee.
Conclusion: My patronus is coffee, of all forms, even cubes….as long as it’s not ..well you know..from that place.
What’s your take? Would you give up drinking coffee to chew it?
To buy Heart Roasters EVERYTHING, visit them here.